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Sunday, 30 December 2007

  • Sunday, August 5, 2007

    The sound of music in echoey halls
      Little girls huddled on the floor around a game of "set"
             New friends
    Live orchestral music
        Unexpected hugs
           Nuns primping in the mirror
             Tacos & watermelon
               Hearing friends hit very high notes
        Meaningful encouragement

    Nazis wearing pretty makeup
           Chastity
         Uncontrollable laughter
     
          4 part harmonies
       Set designers
    Gasping at the color purple
          Chances to redeem past backdrop endeavors

                   Growing

                Watching others grow

             Brothers
    New mercies each morning
              Conversations
              Praying
              Silliness


    ...these are a few of my favorite things

    a perfect camp to end on.


    yes. my last one


    Sometimes the mere complexity of missing something softens the emotion of it.  Hm. Does that make sense?


    There are just so many layers to my missing Reflections. Sleepy hugs in the mornings. Getting to just be a camper. The unique warmth of the original group. The unique insanity of the latest one. Laughing till our sides ached every Thursday afternoon. The director i've looked up to & laughed with & loved. The single vision. The good things that have come, lingered, and passed.

    So shouldn't i cry, or something, at a significant closure like this?

    nah.

    Life is too full, God is too sovereign, and tears are too taxing.

    I will instead focus my energy on simply resting in that which is
    magnificently and unalterably true...

    Let them give thanks to the LORD for His unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.
    [psalm 107:8-9]

    Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
    there is no shadow of turning with Thee;
    Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
    as Thou hast been Thou forever will be.

    ~

    The Sound of Music
    Reflections Academy of Dramatic Arts

Saturday, 29 December 2007

  • Tuesday, April 17, 2007


    People are so good at adapting morals to fit their own lifestyle. The habit is not just unfulfilling, mistaken, and, well, wrong... it can actually be quite funny.


    The 14 Commandments of the Religious Left
        by Rush Limbaw

        1. Thou shalt have no other God except thyself; after all, it's thy self-esteem that counts. If thou doth not love thyself, who will?
        2. Thou shalt not make any graven image out of any substances which cannot be recycled.
        3. Thou shalt not take the name of liberals in criticism, including feminists, racial minorities, or any person who thinks he is a victim of America.
        4. Remember the anniversaries of Roe vs Wade and Anita Hill's testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and keep them holy.
        5. Honor thy mother. If she is dysfunctional, it is thy father's fault.
        6. Thou shalt not kill. With these exceptions: life forms under the second trimester, and those opting for medically assisted suicides.
        7. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Unless thou aspirest to high political office, useth a condom, or cannot help it.
        8. Thou shalt not steal. Unless thou art disadvantaged or upset with a jury verdict.
        9. Thou shalt not bear false witness. Unless thou art discussing the history of the 1980's, art campaigning, or can afford good legal counsel in the event that thou art discovered.
        10. Thou shalt not covet. Unless thou art the victim of gender-related oppression or institutional racism, or art still angry with Reagan's tax cuts.
        11. Always hide the real truth about thyself.
        12. Never admit who or what thou really art when campaigning for office.
        13. Always blame someone else for what thou dost - even so far as to blame the entire society.
        14. Thou shalt oppose all punishment - except when conservative Republicans or religious right people criticize thee.


    Yes. This made me laugh. And it has also made me think. People are amusing when so horrendously confused. But aren't we each desperately man-centered apart from a Savior? Lately, i'm realizing how much i react to the "religious left" as a conservative, but not as a Christian. Here's my challenge: when i'm done teasing my dear "left-wing" friends, i want to truly sift through the politics, and begin to fight for them instead of against them.


Friday, 28 December 2007

  • Tuesday, February 27, 2007

    [silliness]

    So. I drive down Huguenot four times a week to go to classes. I've grown up in the ditches of this road; nothing exciting happens while driving on Huguenot; it's renowned for this trait. But as i was driving along on it the other day, making my mundane commute, i stopped at a stoplight behind a minivan. Catching movement through the rear window, i peered in to catch glimpse of several 8-9 year old boys making "peace signs" in my direction. I gave the peace sign back. They got a kick out of this. They then proceeded to make faces at me, sticking out their tongues, and laughing at this riotous occasion -- they finally got a reaction from a driver. After responding in kind to their silly faces, i "shot" them with my hand acting as a pistol, then ducked behind the steering wheel for cover. They all cracked up in giddy disbelief. We continued driving down the road in this fashion for several minutes, taking turns firing absurd weapons or facial expressions at each other. As they prepared to turn, i passed them and stuck out my tongue. I think, for whatever reason, that made their day. What they don't know is how it made mine.

    Sometimes i feel trapped, unable to think further than three days ahead at a time.

    Wouldn't it be nice if life came with an FAQ?

    Lesson learned: the smell of kerosine doesn't wash out of clothes. A waste of perfectly good pajama pants, if you ask me.

    Recent addiction: travel shows

    in the secret
    in the quiet place
    in the stillness
    You
    are
    there

Wednesday, 26 December 2007

  • I'm afraid xanga's gonna have a spasm.... the number of posts seen on Steponine's site in the last year are about to be doubled.

    Yes.

    I am going to post something every day until the new year.

    no, this isn't penance for my unreasonable xanga neglect. though... it oughta count for something.

    Lately, as i've sought to reflect a little on the last year, i ended up reading all the posts i've written in that time [this is a very good exercise, i recommend it]. Most of these posts, however, you've never read. Most of them i wrote to myself, or to the void, in a moment of thought, or perhaps with the idea of eventually posting them publicly but somehow never bothered to edit them into reader-worthiness.

    So, now, i'm going through my private posts and just clicking "public" on a few, in whatever state they're in. You're invited to enjoy, heckle, or just ignore them as you please.

    A glimpse of my history. Here's the first installment (starting with something more thoughtful).

    ~

    February 24, 2007

    I want to learn to live in this dimension.

    This dimension of active quietness; placid urging; a calm river that smooths effortlessly over the rocks, while beneath an undercurrent stirs and shapes the river bed in its powerful path.

    I want to be gentle but unmovable. Sweet but fiery. Kind but purposeful. I'm tired of running for the sake of running; i'm tired of leaving things the way i found them. I want to be a world-changer, maybe if it's only one or two lives at a time.

    After all, this the same dimension in which God works His cleansing wonders in my sinful mind. It's painful. But He's so gentle. The discovery of being healed is one that i have to rediscover frequently. But once i've struggled plenty in His fatherly grip, and i simply rest, i find myself completely content in the beautiful process of healing.

Wednesday, 12 September 2007

  • Everybody...

    Meet Kronk.

    Me and Kronk   Kronk head on
    Kronk- tilted  Kronk-rear view mirror
    Yes. I officially have wheels.

    He's a '95 Ford Taurus.

    Kronk came to me already named, though i admit it's taken me a week or so to discover just how appropriate a name it is...

    Qualifications for such a name:
    +relatively large physique
    +a little slow on the uptake
    +easy to love
    +speaks squirrel fluently when turning
    +good-natured
    +could easily carry Izma [or other cargo] in the luxuriously spacious back

    Kronk's destiny was to be thoroughly loved.
    So he's in good hands. ::grin::

    I'm excessively thankful.

    ~

    ...from summer to fall...

    I think i can safely say that the transition's been a bit less distinct for me than it has for most of you. No new living arrangements or buying of mechanical pencils. No empathetic discussions of fickle teachers or crazy schedules. And i certainly haven't filled my RA's room with balloons or thrived on playing intramural frisbee.

    But still, other little transitions have wheedled their way into my life...

    My nanny job ended, leaving time to reorganize / rearrange my room.

    Finished the delightful Jane Eyre; beginning now to pour over my psychology book to study for CLEP.

    Friends, memories, and parties from Secret Garden & Sound of Music have grown fewer and farther between, allowing me to invest more time and energy into things at church.

    No longer teaching art to a 7yr old; will soon teach ballroom dance to a roomful of teens.

    Fewer late night talks at parties, more afternoon walks down by the river.




    [but i'm learning that God measures big transition by drastically different standards than i do]




    Decisions and questions have pervaded this season more than anything. Honestly, i've never felt quite so inadequate, so befuddled, or so exhausted from turning choices over and over in my mind. This humbling state of... of humanness has driven me to my knees more times than i can count -- and for that, i'm glad. I've learned that hearing the right answers isn't nearly as important as asking the right questions. He's taught me what to seek, and when i'm sold out to find that, He has unfailingly put everything else in place.


    [  'but seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.'    - matthew 6:33 ]

    i want to live like i believe that.

    ~

    p.s. Sarah and i made sugar cookies last night. All i will say is, if i were to present Queen Elizabeth with a representation of herself as a sugar cookie, i think she'd be offended, and might consider a diet.

    your Highness, i forgot how much the dough expands.

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steponine

  • Visit steponine's Xanga Site
    • Name: Steph-a-nie
    • Member Since: 3/19/2004

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Chatboard (3)

  • lovesbasketball1994
    O.K. I was just wouldering what you were supost to talk about on these things. :-)
  • steponine
    Honestly, i hadn't realized this was here until you said something. If we're lacking in "chat" material, it probably means we all have something better to do with our lives anyway :-)
  • lovesbasketball1994
    What do you talk about on these things? lol :-D